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Friday, January 22, 2010

Being a Helper to My Husband



The topic of being a helper to my husband has been weighing heavily on my mind these past few days.   Laura, at www.heavenlyhomemakers.com, is posting a fantastic series about it, and it has really encouraged and challenged me. So I began to think of all the ways that i am a helper to my husband, and all the ways I need to improve on this. Some of the ways I help him are:

-First and foremost, I try at all times to show respect to my husband.  I NEVER intentionally speak disrespectfully to him, and I am learning how to moderate my tone and words so that I never injure him unintentionally or while "teasing".  I also encourage Gabriel to think and speak respectfully to him by always praising Ash while he is at work.  We frequently speak of Daddy during the day with such phrases as, "Don't we have such a great Daddy, who works hard all day long for us?", "Eat your vegetables so you grow up big and strong like your Daddy," "We love to wash Daddy's clothes for him- let me show you the way that he likes his shirts folded- just so."

-I try to always have a hot, nourishing meal ready for Ash when he gets home from work.  I work really hard to update my meal plan to include foods that he enjoys.  This winter, he has really been craving thick soups, stews, and hearty meals with a lot of meat and other protein; thus I have made sure to include meat in every meal.  I have also been cooking (almost) everything from scratch with healthy, whole foods.  This has been a blessing to our Ash, myself, the boys and our wallet!

-When Ash arrives home from work, I know that he needs a little time to unwind and relax.  I try my best to never jump on him with problems that arose during the day.  I save any concerns until after he has had time to eat and wind down.  I also NEVER reserve discipline for Ash to deal out when he comes home.  That would make the boys fear their Daddy's arrival with dread anticipation.  Instead, I train and discipline them myself during the day, so that they greet him with reckless abandon and wild joy.

Ways I need to improve:

-Ash craves a place of peace and comfort when he comes home from his stressful, busy day.  To be a better helpmeet, I need to keep the house picked up and uncluttered when he arrives home from work.  Also, I need to work some cleaning time into our weekends so that the house doesn't become so messy every weekend.
-I have a poor morning habit of sleeping in while Ash gets ready for work.  To be a better helpmeet, I need to set an alarm every morning to rise and prepare coffee and breakfast for Ash.  I also need to lay out his lunch the night before, or prepare it in the morning.  This way, he will be able to focus on his job and not his empty stomach:-(
-Like most men, Ash appreciates beauty and grace.  I have fallen into the all-too-common trap of frumpy motherhood.  To be a better helpmeet, I need to strive to regain feminine beauty and grace in my appearance.  I truly enjoy feeling feminine and pretty, so helping him in this aspect will benefit me as well!

Please help me in my endeavor by asking me occasionally how I am doing in my challenges.  It helps me to be held accountable:-)
You can encourage me and others by posting how you are a helpmeet to your husband, and ways that you want to challenge yourself to become a better helpmeet to him...

2 comments:

  1. Jennifer, I am glad that you are trying to be a good person, but I hope that all these things you do to be a "good" wife are more than returned to you by Ash. Remember that you are your own person, and that should be the person that you nourish and take care of the most. When you are happy and content with yourself, the way you treat others will be expressed in a like manner. Love you- Jackie

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  2. Hi Jackie:

    I have watched Jenn and Ash together over the last three years, and I am always encouraged by the genuine love that they have for each other. I love the way that Ash loves Jenn through his spiritual leadership, his loving protection, and his inquisitive nature. Even when he was a new father, he sought out ways to show Jenn he loved her by taking her for special times alone, for planning special family outings, and for always making sure that Jenn got time out with the girls (even when she wanted to stay home with the baby).

    There is a quote by Marilyn Monroe that has resurfaced recently..."If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as h*** don’t deserve me at my best." I have watched Ash "handle" Jenn during her "worst" times - and loved her through them. He absolutely deserves the best that Jenn has to offer, and Jenn deserves the best that Ash has to offer. They truly are meant for each other!

    I have been honored to know them - as single people and as a married couple. Through their marriage, I have watched Ash become a stronger, more confident man who leads courageously and with honor and integrity. I have watched Jenn become a radiant woman who is "clothed with strength and dignity, who can laugh at the days to come" (Proverbs 31:25).

    This "help meet" stuff really works. The "self help" stuff...doesn't. I should know...I've tried both (smile).

    Kelly

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