Guest Blog- Life's rough points

So.. My sister and I decided to guest blog on each other's blogs. So- as some of you might have deduced from the title of this post, this is NOT Jennifer, but her little sister, Stephanie. For those of you who don't know me, here' s miniature summary of my life. I have a 19 month old son, Killian, who is most definitely that light of my life. He changed me for the better in more ways than I can count. I'm currently in my 4th year in college in the cold (those less cold than Alaska) state of Wisconsin, and have 2 years left. When I graduate in Dec. 2011, I will be a licensed Early Childhood (Pk-6) teacher with an additional license in Math. 

So- here's my guest blog, and I'm sorry for the dreary topic, but it's on life's rough points. And while I don't believe in God, those of you who do will, I'm sure, see an underlying plan.

So I'm currently going through a terrible rough point in my life- my son's father, who has never been in his life, or wanted to up to the point, has now decided he (and his new wife) wants to be a parent. And, at this point, wants 50/50 placement. Seeing as I've raised Killian for 19 months (longer if you include pregnancy), and he is first and foremost the most important thing in my life, the person I want to get up in the morning for, the person I make every decision around, and the person I'm shaping my life and future around, of course- I'm devastated.

The way I've felt this last week has taken me back to the time when I found out I was pregnant. Of course, unplanned and only a sophmore in college, I was devastated. It turned my entire world upside down. I found out about 6 weeks before the end of a semester in school, and I remember walking through that semester in a daze, barely getting through it. There are alot of decisions that go along with pregnancy and deciding to raise a child, and since the father stated he wanted nothing to do with us- it was stressful (to say the least) to do it alone. But, I got through it, and the moment my son was born, I realized that it was the best thing that had EVER happened to me.

I have never been so happy, felt so complete, or content before. But, before I knew my son, before I felt the first kick, I was scared, stressed, and unsure of the future. That's how I feel now. I don't know what the future holds, and all my plans, decisions, and actions that I made in the past, and for the future are being taken away from me by a man who, at the time, I don't feel deserves 50% of the time I cherish with my son. I'm scared, stressed, and unsure of the future.

Now.. for the point of all of this. While some people take comfort in God, and I'm sure will tell me I should turn to God, I have found comfort in friends and family. People are standing behind me that I didn't even know cared as much as they do. And I am thankful for each and every positive, comforting, reassuring word that they give me. I take on alot of stress by myself, and I'm become comfortable with the knowledge that I am capable with dealing with it. However, I found out this week, that losing my son part of the time, is a stress I am NOT capable of dealing with alone. I need others to lean on, and I am so grateful that they are there for me.

And through all of this, I have to have hope. Hope that in time, I will adjust and Killian will be happy. That something good will come out of this- I just have to wait for it. So, if there's anyone out there going through a rough point, be it losing a job, a family member, trouble in your relationship, or, like me, a custody dispute, I hope that you have a support system to lean on. For those of you who are lucky enough to be in life's wonderful moments, remember that sometimes even telling a friend who you're not horribly close to that you're there for them, that they're a strong person and will get through whatever their dealing with, can be weight lifted off of that person's shoulders.

If you want to get to know me better, and read some less-depressing posts by me :) you can visit my post here. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Unanswered Prayers....

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

The lyrics to this old song have been running through my head lately.  Ash and I have been pondering the blessings and joys of our current life, and what might have been. Back before my handsome doctor became a doctor, he applied for every job that he came across; however the position he REALLY wanted was a residency at a clinic in Seattle.  It seemed perfect for him, and we would be able to remain in the city where we had become comfortably complacent.  In an ironic twist of events, Ash's closest friend was given the residency instead.  It was difficult to not become bitter about this situation; I admit that more than once I gave in to thoughts about "what should have been."  However, another job presented itself and we moved in that direction.... and ended up in Fairbanks, Alaska!

It is precisely moments like these that make me realize that God's ways are truly higher than my ways. He amazes me.  

Our life is an amazing journey of blessing following blessing.  I am encouraged, stimulated, surrounded by new friends, and totally shaken out of my complacent apathy.  Ash is in the wondrous place of truly loving his steady but flexible work, surrounded by talented co-workers, given room to grow and the ability to be incredibly successful.  Looking back at the positions we would have been filling if we did "what was right in our eyes," it is easy to see how stagnant and discontent we would have been.  We now realize what God knew all along... that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. What an incredible and awesome discovery! 

Do you have any unanswered prayers that you are thankful for?

Felted Slipper Give-away!

I have long been wanting to make a pair of these slippers....

They are still in my queue waiting to be cast on; however, in the meantime I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can win a pair:-)

French Press Knits is giving away a darling pair of custom made felted slippers! Enter until Feb 5, 2010 for your chance to win!

http://frenchpressknits.blogspot.com/

Angels and breastmilk......

Often times in life the most shocking traumas are followed by an outpouring of God's love, through the hands of perfect strangers.  I was blessed to witness such an event today.
Last night, a dear friend of mine lived through every mother's worst nightmare.  Her home, her sacred sanctuary, was broken into.  She arose to investigate, and was visciously stabbed repeatedly.  Her infant son, thankfully, slept soundly in the bed she had just vacated.  Although she lost dangerous amounts of blood, she survived and is in recovery now.
Her most pressing thought, upon awakening this morning, was the care and feeding of her son.  He is nursed exclusively, and she couldn't handle the thought of putting him on formula while she recovered.  She could not relax, or sleep, until she knew that her son would be taken care of.  Sadly, I did not have milk on hand to provide for her, so I called a few of the ladies I have met recently.  It was at this point that God took over, and provided for her! Within a few hours of the call I made, deliveries began coming to her door.  In total, by the end of the day, she had received over 100 ounces of frozen breast milk... the exact amount that she will need to tide her son through her recovery period.  We also had the phone numbers of three generous women who have offered to provide more if she needs it.  Wow. I was completely humbled and awed by this experience.  All in all, we received milk and love and blessings from ten women who were complete strangers to either of us. They walked in and out of that door today like angels.... God's own messengers of personal and intimate love.

Being a Helper to My Husband

The topic of being a helper to my husband has been weighing heavily on my mind these past few days.   Laura, at www.heavenlyhomemakers.com, is posting a fantastic series about it, and it has really encouraged and challenged me. So I began to think of all the ways that i am a helper to my husband, and all the ways I need to improve on this. Some of the ways I help him are:

-First and foremost, I try at all times to show respect to my husband.  I NEVER intentionally speak disrespectfully to him, and I am learning how to moderate my tone and words so that I never injure him unintentionally or while "teasing".  I also encourage Gabriel to think and speak respectfully to him by always praising Ash while he is at work.  We frequently speak of Daddy during the day with such phrases as, "Don't we have such a great Daddy, who works hard all day long for us?", "Eat your vegetables so you grow up big and strong like your Daddy," "We love to wash Daddy's clothes for him- let me show you the way that he likes his shirts folded- just so."

-I try to always have a hot, nourishing meal ready for Ash when he gets home from work.  I work really hard to update my meal plan to include foods that he enjoys.  This winter, he has really been craving thick soups, stews, and hearty meals with a lot of meat and other protein; thus I have made sure to include meat in every meal.  I have also been cooking (almost) everything from scratch with healthy, whole foods.  This has been a blessing to our Ash, myself, the boys and our wallet!

-When Ash arrives home from work, I know that he needs a little time to unwind and relax.  I try my best to never jump on him with problems that arose during the day.  I save any concerns until after he has had time to eat and wind down.  I also NEVER reserve discipline for Ash to deal out when he comes home.  That would make the boys fear their Daddy's arrival with dread anticipation.  Instead, I train and discipline them myself during the day, so that they greet him with reckless abandon and wild joy.

Ways I need to improve:

-Ash craves a place of peace and comfort when he comes home from his stressful, busy day.  To be a better helpmeet, I need to keep the house picked up and uncluttered when he arrives home from work.  Also, I need to work some cleaning time into our weekends so that the house doesn't become so messy every weekend.
-I have a poor morning habit of sleeping in while Ash gets ready for work.  To be a better helpmeet, I need to set an alarm every morning to rise and prepare coffee and breakfast for Ash.  I also need to lay out his lunch the night before, or prepare it in the morning.  This way, he will be able to focus on his job and not his empty stomach:-(
-Like most men, Ash appreciates beauty and grace.  I have fallen into the all-too-common trap of frumpy motherhood.  To be a better helpmeet, I need to strive to regain feminine beauty and grace in my appearance.  I truly enjoy feeling feminine and pretty, so helping him in this aspect will benefit me as well!

Please help me in my endeavor by asking me occasionally how I am doing in my challenges.  It helps me to be held accountable:-)
You can encourage me and others by posting how you are a helpmeet to your husband, and ways that you want to challenge yourself to become a better helpmeet to him...

Help Haiti and Purchase a Home-made Craft!

There is a beautiful way that you can help out the victims of the recent earthquake in Haiti....

The website Etsy has set up a storefront called "Craft for Hope"

 http://www.etsy.com/shop/crafthope

Thousands of generous crafters have donated their pre-made items to this storefront; therefore, when you purchase an item from this store, 100% of the profit goes towards Doctors Without Borders for their relief work in Haiti.

What an elegant method of helping!!!

Please consider taking a look- there are hundreds of lovely, useful home-made items that are perfect for gifting.

Give-away

Instead of posting tonight, Ash and I spent some quality time together listening to a fantastic podcast by Pastor Mark Driscoll, and making some plans for 2010. I have some great thoughts stirring for new posts, so if you have any preferences, let me know! I am considering:
-Eating locally
-Humanely raised meats
-Making do with what we have
-Meal planning
-Planning and intentions for 2010

However, I wanted to direct your attention to a great blog, called progressive pioneer. She is a home-maker mama like myself, and she is currently hosting a give-away for some fantastic healthful beauty products. You can check out her website at:
www.progressivepioneer.com

Blessings on you and your family,

Jennifer